how is it like to be inlove?

how is it like to be in love? is it as painful as adele would say it is? is it true that “Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”. even if its true or not I want to feel it. It is hard to live in the world where in everybody has someone on their side when they got old and you are alone. Staring at the blank space waiting for somebody to see your good personality and love you. It is hard to believe  that in my 20 years of existence nobody has seen my beauty and loved me. Nobody wants me to be their special someone. I think it is more painful than being in love and be hurt. If you’ve separated the memory still lasts. It remains. Unlike being alone. You don’t have any memories to remember no, nothing. Only sad days of waiting for somebody to come and there is none. It’s excruciating, very painful. Whenever I remember I wanted to cry. Is there something wrong with the way I look that is why nobody has put their eyes on me. I wanted to share my “almost love stories”.

My first almost love story happened summer after graduation from high school. The transition of being a highschool student to college. Back then I was addicted to online games. Specificaly audition where in the story happened. I was so addicted to that game that I dont sleep just to play that game. During summer all I did was play that game. My mother always reprimands me but still I keep on playing. I’m so addicted because it makes you learn more about more people. It is fun because you will see people interested at you that can type fast. LOL. I had a couple at audition before. He’s flirty and everything. I enjoyed the moment that we were conversing but he had inner motives. He just wanted me to play his character so that he can level up. LOL. very immature.

My second almost “love story” was from a textmate back in 1st year college. My number was given to him by one of my highschool buddies. Back then he was a student of University of the Philippines - Diliman. He was not that good looking but he is nice and smart. We texted for about a year. I even invited him to watch our stage play because I was a theater actress before. I was expecting for him to come. But he never did. And so, nothing happened. I was waiting in vain for nothing. Because nothing happened. I really liked him but I was just too busy back then to check on him. *boring 

And my last happened 4th year college. He was my crush since 2nd year because he has everything that I wanted in a guy. He was a good speaker, has good leadership qualities, very intelligent and very good looking (which is not that important). I really trully liked him. Its just that nobody steps out and make a move. I know that he wants me too. (kapal! hehe). Because of this moment. I was running to get my friend a medicine. She was suffering from gnawing pain on her abdomen. I actually stepped off the clinic to get medicines not knowing that they were there. I was running and his guy friend called me and then I looked. And then I saw him stopping that guy from calling me. I said hi.Then I ran and took the medicine and return to my friend suffering from appendicitis blushing. At times they will call me then I will look. I was just hoping that he will step up and make a move. But he didn’t that is why it is included on my almost love stories because nothing happened.

It makes me think back and reminisce that in almost 20 years of my existence in earth. I only had 3 almost love stories. To make it worst its “almost” nothing happened. We haven’t talk or anything. NOTHING. as in nothing. I was thinking that I was cursed by somebody not to have someone in my life like the fortune teller told me. She told me that she will remove the curse for P300 but up until today it is not removed. My almost love stories will be in memory and will be stored in this blog. I really hope that in time, I will find someone to love. So that I can feel the hurt adele’s referring to.

sleepy head on the loose

life on its most definite form

casting of crows, we cry and mourn

sleepy, sleepy head they will go and catch you

sleepy sleepy head i know you can run through

run, run never get caught

if ever they do

go ahead and fought

fought for the life that He has given you

fought for the dreams that consume you

stare, look, behave, create

be creative, live life at its best

you can do it, i know you will

though alone,

just go ahead

move on

THE PLANS

its just that i wanted it posted. pakialam niyo ba? LOL

I am ambitious and I want something to be done.

I wanted to become “somebody” not someone.

2012 will be a bigger year for me. Bigger than 2011.

I will not pursue that radio drama thingy nonsense. (V^_^V)

I will not end this call center career, they have to terminate me first. and then I will enroll for a masterral degree at UP Diliman. Masters of Arts in Sociology. ad then I will be a professor, my dream at La Salle Dasma or any university.

ventilation and exasperation PART I

there has been many changes in my life. I graduated from college, passed nursing board exams, applied at a call center, had a part time job at abs cbn to name a few. I’ve been a workaholic, i would like to work harder to escape. For I am an escape artist. I dont want to stop and take a look at what reality brought me. I studied so hard for a course i would not pursue. I wasted 4 years of my life studying thick books and human anatomy to learn that i wont pursue it. For I am afraid. I am afraid of the responsibility of the profession that i am licensed. I am afraid of the task of saving lives. Because I know my capabilities. I know how careless I am, and thinking what a small ounce of extra medication can kill a person. I am not buying that and I wont do that. Even if everyone tells me that it would land me a big fortune. I dont care. Life is precious, life is priceless, life is a gift and i dont wanna ruin it just because of iresponsibility.

At the same time i am workaholic for i know that i am alone. I have precious friends before that I have cherished thru my whole college life and now they are beyond gone. I know I have said something that hurt someone I know but it is not enough for them to throw our friendship away. It sucks to learn how people think and how they can throw a friendship that started for ages  because of something odd. I am not the type of person who will say sorry for the things i did not do right. But i did, I say my sorry but it just so happen that he wont forgive me. I did my part and it ruin our friendship that was there for years. But I dont regret anything. Because as far as i know, for them to choose someone before me who is their friend ever since is day one is garbage. I am not buying those. At least I know who my true friends are. And its not them. issue closed. I have to move on and find other people who cn be true. 

I now know how hard it is be stepped on and not to be chosen. It is their decision and I respect it as much as they do not respect themselves. We have our own separate lives by the way.  We already graduated I dont need them. I need someone true.

Yeah, the fact that I need someone. It is hard to be single all of your life. There will be a point that you will be wondering what did I do wrong. Why do people/guys dont like me. Is it the way I talk? The way I move? Or the way I look. I know I am not that pretty compare to the other girls. And I am beyond average when it comes to confidence. But still I do not know why guys would not like me. I needed to talk to an expert and know how to adapt. Because it is hard to be alone. I wanted a company. I am not choosy but of course I had a preference but anyone will do. I just want to experience how it is like to have someone. How would it be like to have a boyfriend? Is it that hard? Well I guess. Because I’ve been dreaming to have someone since 1st year college and yet nobody has come and make those dreams come true. Its like my dream of driving but I cannot drive because my student’s drivers license has already been expired. I dont want to expire before I can meet him. I wanted somebody before this year end. Is that so hard to give? hay. Life. :/

Sarcasm

Love and hate has something to do with faith

The love for others we ventilate 

And the need for affection, we used to share

The love we can communicate

and its antagonist we used to hate

The glitter, the glamour, the glory and the fame

are an inch closer to a body of shame

the dreams, aspirations and imagination

are just forms of self preservation

They talk about good things when you are on their side

but as time passes by and you bid goodbye

They talk again, it was all a part of the lie

Cause inside they curse you and wish you could die

Everyone has a purpose 

It’s either to be loved or to be hated

Its only on the way we choose to behave 

For love and hate has something to do with fate

ang ipin bow

palagi na lang sumasakit,

ang kirot hindi mawaglit

ang ipin kong isang pasakit

sa mundong mapagkait…

sa sakit para akong tinubuan

ng isang marubdob na karamdaman

sa bawat hangin na dumadaan

ang kirot narararanasan

oh ipin ko!

bakit ka nagkaganito?

dahil ba sa chocolate?

o sa candy sa kalye?

ang sakit hindi mawala-wala

parte na ata ng tadhana

at ng binunot na

ang sakit naging ginhawa…

haha.. shit!

Life is weird

ok. so i have posted a few things on this site. some of which are related to my personal life. i am not pretending to be perfect nor intelligent. i only say what’s on my mind and the things i feel. i may not be always blogging but in my heart there is a place for this site. ENOUgh drama…

this will be a continuation of my previous post.

Luckily, I passed nutrition with flying colors. My summer classes ended having exactly the same grade. I am  now on my way to my third years. still, dunno why am i still studying this bull crap.  i may feel happy helping others. but i am not that smart to memorize a book as thick as hell. i hate it, because i have done some of my research and found out that nursing would not be as it is before. jobs for nurses  arent that in demand.

waaaaaaaaah…

still confused..

but i will continue this stuff because i know God lead me to the way i am facing today.

Neecel, your life could change this Friday

I have received an email from 123numerology.com its states:

“Hi there Neecel,

Blair
123Numerology.com”

I  am really really nervous after reading the email. The date is the exact day that i will be receiving my classcards on my Fundamentals of Nursing and Nutrition subject. I am confident with my funda on nursing grade but i have no confidence on my nutrition grade. I dont have the will to study on nutrition though i tried. i really tried to pass on that subject. I hope the stars and the moon who is guiding me will be on my light this coming friday  and may I pass my Nutrition subject. I know I can. I will and I must.i am learning to love nursing. and i am loving it. even if I am sarcastic about this course but deep inside i am loving it.

 Please help me pass..

Numerology

I dont really know my real identity. So, I asked help from the sites that would somehow help me understand my personality and the way i interact with other people. Eventually, I discovered numerology there are a lot of sites which offer free numerology reading but i bumped up to this one. Check it out!

Your Inner or Soul’s Urge:

 Number: 5

You yearn for personal freedom in every direction, including expression of free will; for change, variety, and constant new opportunity; and to learn about life in all its phases.

The new, the unusual, the progressive — these are where your enthusiasms are. Waiting around, being stuck in routine, and petty details are personal agitations.

Because of your desire to experience everything in life to its fullest before you let it go, you may tend to overdo sensual experience such as sex, alcohol, drugs, and food.

Instead of formal education, much of your wisdom comes from your tremendous range of activities and your contact with people of many classes and races and walks of life. This can put you in great demand as an alive and witty lecturer or teacher. You tend to be flexible, progressive, and restless.

You can enhance your life experience even more by increasing your sense of loyalty and your patience, better defining your purposes in life, and not scattering your attention so much by going too many directions at once.

Your Personality:

Number: 6

Your thoughts are often on others and their needs, especially those close to you, and this is observed through your projected personality. You are seen as one who is responsible, in service to others, and trying to establish emotional harmony. Sometimes you are seen as a fatherly or motherly type. It is observed that you are capable of deep affection and sacrifice.

When meeting new people, you tend to be either suspicious or gullible, sometimes switching between the two in succession. When threatened emotionally, you can be seen as defending yourself to near irrationality.

You enjoy good clothes of good material, and like to be comfortably dressed. To enhance this personality, you should always be well-dressed and give thought to the way you look, rather than giving it the lack of importance or carelessness as is your tendency.

Your Quiescent Self

Number: 6

Your family adores you; not only for the beautiful, artistic home you create for them, but also for the responsibility you assume for keeping perfect order. There are flowers in your garden, and music and artistic works are around you. You are known for your hospitality.

Your thoughts and pleasure are yourself as the comforter to all, and the adjuster of inequities.

Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal:

Number: 11

Your destiny is to serve the human race. You see where the spirituality of the world can be improved and work tirelessly to bring it about.

You are intuitive, psychic, visionary, and inspired, with an innate desire for harmony and impersonal perspective; all of which allow you to serve most ably as a diplomat, reconciliator, counselor, and mediator. You enjoy exploring, inventing, writing, lecturing, and working with minute details; and you feel rewarded for your efforts whenever you receive tender acknowledgment from those who feel close to you. With your instinctive response to rhythm, you can contribute much with music.

You are refined, spiritual, inspired, and have a vibrant personality.

Your Life’s Path:

Number: 3

You are following a path of creativity and self-expression through art, beauty, friendliness, happiness, and harmony. Your creative force helps you through the obstacles life sometimes presents for your experience.

You are a welcome addition to most any social gathering. You are a natural host and benefit from socializing. Give of yourself, freely and joyously. You are inclined to be imaginative, inspired, and able to tap deep emotions.

You can express yourself well in artistic endeavors of your choice using colors (such as painting and interior decorating), words (such as public speaking, writing, singing, and acting), and form (such as sculpting).

This Year’s Path: 

Number: 22

This is a practical year; no long leisurely periods for dreaming, personal indulgence, or careless living. It is a time to build the firm and secure foundation upon which your future depends, using practical values and steady application. It is also the time to work out the details of that project you’ve been thinking about.

The year opens the door to a greater understanding of your soul purpose. It presents opportunities to serve on a larger scale.

This is the year to find where you stand in life, and to be practical about it — to pay attention to details; no time for careless living. This is your chance, with hard work and specific orientation, to do something big for yourself and for the good of the world. It is the year to put your dreams to practical use.

This year demands a lot of work, not only to improve the present but also to build practical foundations for the future. Your diligence brings commensurate rewards. With good sense, you can meet all requirements and experience satisfactory gain.

Your gatherings, meetings, parties, and trips are mostly related to work or business. Read the fine print of all transactions.

As part of the practical focus of this year, attend to health matters.

Next Year’s Path.

Number: 5

This is a year of change for you, a year to get out of the rut. Your opportunities are found outside ordinary routine. New opportunities and new conditions are manifesting (some may appear unexpectedly) — new relationships, new ideas, new contacts, new enterprises, new plans — more freedom, more variety, more travel — broader fields of interest and activity.

It is a year of new experiences — change, growth, fun, freedom. You feel an inner push to go do something, anything, so long as it’s a new experience. You notice more opportunities to travel. It is time to take advantage of the prevailing atmosphere of change and variety to learn something new. The year adds new life and color to your undertakings.

The changes can be thrilling and inspiring. Now is the time to take advantage of the enhanced sense of freedom you feel and create new outlets for your genius. It is also a time to let older people and children inspire you.

If you have a business, you may wish to advertise more than usual, possibly presenting your business with a new, even unique, angle.

Last Year’s Path.

Number: 3

This is the year to express your inspiration, your imagination, your creative thought, and your deep emotional feelings. You desire to do more entertaining this year and accept more invitations. Take time off to enjoy yourself.

You can give color and warmth to all levels of living. Be artistic. Express yourself joyfully. Now is the time to follow those inspirational and imaginative ideas you are so excited about. Follow your desire for self-improvement; the year is rich with opportunities for inner growth.

It is a colorful and eventful year, with pleasure, opportunities for travel, enjoyable social activities, and entertainment coming your way.

Allow your abundance of cheer and optimism to guide you.

somehow true ayt…

visit it  at

http://affinitynumerology.com/

SM

Saging lang ang may Puso

Oo, inaamin  ko SAging lang KAMI pero maghanap ka ng puno sa buong Pilipinas, Saging lang ang may Puso! SAGING lang ang may PUSO!

Matagal ng bulong-bulungan sa ating bansa kung ano ang pinagmulan ng saging at bakit ito nagkaroon ng puso. Sa isang pelikula ni Mark Lapid na pinamagatang Apoy sa Dibdib ng Samar inamin niya na isa siyang saging at kahit na saging siya, ang saging lamang ang tanging gulay na may puso .

Kung iisipin natin, tama ang kanyang kuro-kuro niya sa mga bagay - bagay. Masarap ang saging mayaman ito as Potassium,  Vitamin B6, Carbohydrates, Folate at iba pa. Mahilig nga ako sa saging kapag kumakain kami dapat palaging may saging. Tuwing kumakain ako ng saging parang lumalaki ang ang aking pus. Parang nadaragdagan ito. Dahil saging lang ang puso.

Pero bukod sa saging marami pa akong prutas na gusto. Gusto ko rin ng kasoy. Kasi sa lahat ng pagkain ito lang ang may ulo kaya parang lalong lumalaki ang ulo ko. Mahilig din ako sa pinya dahil ito lang ang may korona. Pakiramdam ko may korona ako kapag kumakain ako nito.

Pero wala pa rin makakatalo sa saging dahil magahanap ka ng prutas sa pilipinas saging lang pwedeng gawing banana cue. Kahit merong barbecue o camote cue wala paring makakatalo sa original na banana cue.

 Marami na ring palabas sa telebisyon ang tungkol sa saging tulad ng Bananas in Pajamas (B1 at B2) ang bida dito ay mga saging na tulad natin ay may puso. Maraming kaibigan na oso at kahit masama ang ugali ni doding daga ay pinapakisamahan nila pa rin.Isa ito sa makakapagpatunay sa sinabi ni Mark Lapid.

Ang isa pang palabas ay ang Goin bananas. Hindi ko na naabutan ang  palabas na ito. Pero ang pagkaintindi ko sa title ay ninanais nilang maging saging at malapit na sila sa pag-abot ng kanilang pangarap na maging saging. Matutunan natin na kahit na tao tayo at mayroon ng puso mayroong parte ng ating katawan ang nagnanais na maging saging.

At isa sa pinakabagong palabas tungkol sa saging ay ang banana split. Isa rin sa bida dito ay si Chrstine Reyes. Siguro hindi nakuntento si Christine sa pagawa ng pelikula sa saging kaya nagkaroon din siya ng  palabas na banana split. Ang paghahati ng saging… Siguro nagkaroon na si Christine ng super powers sa saging kea nakayanan niya ng magsplit.

Enough! Saging lang ang may puso!

bwahahahahahaha

3 PEOPLE

Ted Failon
Richard Gutierrez
Susan Boyle
How are these people related?

Actually they are not related, they are just the three people who have caught my attention today. Well i have been searching for nonsense in the last 1 hour of my sitting in front of this computer life until i bumped into a not so surprisingly “chismis” about richard gutierrez and her mother anabelle rama. I am not a fan of this two (but i am watching zorro. haha). I am actually a pepster and i always go to pep for the latest chika. The news was they were filing a case for the website for publishing an article that is not true. The article states that Richard had a fight with Michael Flores. And now, they are fiiling a cease and desist order for PEP. They wanted to cease all the articles related to richard on that website. Having an insufficient knowledge on the constitution, they somehow voilated freedom of speech. If posting an article will be a crime i would not post any articlelets/blog entry…

Next, is the news about the reporter Ted Failon. In my younger years, i always wanted to be seen on TV and reporting about an incident that happened. But all are ruined since i take up nursing in college. So? Ok Ted Failon is a reporter who is currently in jail for hiding evidences that may lead to a crime that had happened. Her wife, a nurse, had been shot in the head and died. Failon said that she had committed suicide and left a sorry/suicidal note. I am very affected on this issue because when the story erupted i am in a room and being massaged and the reflexologist tells me her views on the issue. She told me that Failon might killed her husband. My father told me that Failon noticed that they have no money left in the bank. My father also told me that (plain chismis) his wife gave the money to her other man. It has been in the gossip for years but never been proven. Failon learned about his wife’s mischief and shot her in their car. This is just a complete hearsay. and i am just stating what i have just heard.

And lastly and my favorite search this day is about the Britain’s got Talent finalist Susan Boyle. Susan Boyle is actually a 47 year old SINGLE (never been kissed, never been touched) who WOWED the audience with her enchanting voice. She sang a song from Les Miserables. She had the biggest yes the judges had ever given. I just watched her on youtube because i was doing nothing. And i was amazed on how this voice came from a lady so….
hmmmn…
i have nothing to say.

so how are these related.
These all have something to do with knowing your LIMITATIONS.
Richard Gutierrez must know that as a public figure he cannot limit the things that would be set up against him. And Tita Anabelle must limit her mouth from speaking words that has no proof.
Ted Failon’s wife had her limitations. She had crossed the line.
Susan Boyle’s age did not become a limit in achieving her dreams…

chow chow and gudnyt.

LAUNCH

Today and in this very moment i am launching my new blog.

A hidden side of my natural identity.

I am sure that nobody will waste their time reading on the issues and the things that i will say on this  very blog. But i am certain that even if no one would like to read the messages i have written, nor even take a look, it would not stop me from writing.

I have a dream.

to become a journalist/ documentaries

and no journalist started from  the top.

i would like to start in a place where no one would know me.

i would like to start here.

my new hidden place, away from home.

=p

Welcome to i.PH Blogs! Huzzah!

Thank you for choosing i.PH. You’ve made an awesome choice.

Don’t be scared to play around with your site, you’ll see how we make blogging easy.

If you need help, you can just go to:

• i.PH Forum - Meet other i.PH Blog users, the people who run i.PH Blogs. You can post questions, or you can just make friends
• FAQs - All the i.PH tutorials you need. Ever.
• Livehelp - Confused? We’re here to help you.

To delete this, just look for and click the “Delete Post” button at the upper right side of this entry.

To start blogging, just click on the “New Post” button, and you’re all set!