how is it like to be inlove?

how is it like to be in love? is it as painful as adele would say it is? is it true that “Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”. even if its true or not I want to feel it. It is hard to live in the world where in everybody has someone on their side when they got old and you are alone. Staring at the blank space waiting for somebody to see your good personality and love you. It is hard to believe  that in my 20 years of existence nobody has seen my beauty and loved me. Nobody wants me to be their special someone. I think it is more painful than being in love and be hurt. If you’ve separated the memory still lasts. It remains. Unlike being alone. You don’t have any memories to remember no, nothing. Only sad days of waiting for somebody to come and there is none. It’s excruciating, very painful. Whenever I remember I wanted to cry. Is there something wrong with the way I look that is why nobody has put their eyes on me. I wanted to share my “almost love stories”.

My first almost love story happened summer after graduation from high school. The transition of being a highschool student to college. Back then I was addicted to online games. Specificaly audition where in the story happened. I was so addicted to that game that I dont sleep just to play that game. During summer all I did was play that game. My mother always reprimands me but still I keep on playing. I’m so addicted because it makes you learn more about more people. It is fun because you will see people interested at you that can type fast. LOL. I had a couple at audition before. He’s flirty and everything. I enjoyed the moment that we were conversing but he had inner motives. He just wanted me to play his character so that he can level up. LOL. very immature.

My second almost “love story” was from a textmate back in 1st year college. My number was given to him by one of my highschool buddies. Back then he was a student of University of the Philippines - Diliman. He was not that good looking but he is nice and smart. We texted for about a year. I even invited him to watch our stage play because I was a theater actress before. I was expecting for him to come. But he never did. And so, nothing happened. I was waiting in vain for nothing. Because nothing happened. I really liked him but I was just too busy back then to check on him. *boring 

And my last happened 4th year college. He was my crush since 2nd year because he has everything that I wanted in a guy. He was a good speaker, has good leadership qualities, very intelligent and very good looking (which is not that important). I really trully liked him. Its just that nobody steps out and make a move. I know that he wants me too. (kapal! hehe). Because of this moment. I was running to get my friend a medicine. She was suffering from gnawing pain on her abdomen. I actually stepped off the clinic to get medicines not knowing that they were there. I was running and his guy friend called me and then I looked. And then I saw him stopping that guy from calling me. I said hi.Then I ran and took the medicine and return to my friend suffering from appendicitis blushing. At times they will call me then I will look. I was just hoping that he will step up and make a move. But he didn’t that is why it is included on my almost love stories because nothing happened.

It makes me think back and reminisce that in almost 20 years of my existence in earth. I only had 3 almost love stories. To make it worst its “almost” nothing happened. We haven’t talk or anything. NOTHING. as in nothing. I was thinking that I was cursed by somebody not to have someone in my life like the fortune teller told me. She told me that she will remove the curse for P300 but up until today it is not removed. My almost love stories will be in memory and will be stored in this blog. I really hope that in time, I will find someone to love. So that I can feel the hurt adele’s referring to.